Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Back Again

Hello all you lovely Bloggers out there. Sorry for being so quiet but I had my end of training conference this weekend. I had the best time, and I only cried the once (good for me; I don't do endings very well.)

So its all over. 5 long years. I am unrecognisable from the woman that walked up the stone steps and into the training room all those years ago. Back then my target was to see out the first weekend, my aim was to fit into a group - my long term goal was to change my career and my life. Managed to achieve all of that!

I feel a massive sense of accomplishment, and a thankfulness for all the wonderful people that I have met and worked with over the years. Some of them have become my best friends, and we have such deep knowledge of each other, such intimacy - the good bits and the bad, it is a gift and an honour.

I want to write a much more detailed post on the subject of 'Transference' which was the theme of the conference, but as I have a grizzly Yellow Pages sales man about to turn up then I have not got the time needed to do the subject justice. However, I would just like to say that it is essentially 'Magick' - all that stuff that goes on between people out of conscious awareness is incredibly powerful, and can be used to heal effectively, and to understand and to change our lives.

The Party on Saturday night was absolutely fab. I wore my full witchy regalia - will have to post pic for you when I get a copy, and it felt good to be so 'out'. This is me, guys, and yes I do strange things with knives and chalices.

I view my witchy stuff as deep psychology - symbolic ritual that is the only way to contact the 'deep self' - the bit that has to have the altered brainwaves before anything can happen. I would go as far as to suggest that wicca is very much the symbolic enactment of a lot of psychotherapy. A way to access early memory, unconscious process, Child Ego state, repressed emotion. I am endlessly fascinated by it ...

So there I was in my long velvet red gown complete with yellow flower garland and I felt fab. I was presented with my Psychosexual qualification - and we all clapped everyone elses achievements. After much wine, flowing conversation we had the disco. Our DJ, a fellow student with healthy pagan tendencies had made a dress code pact with me, so he turned up in formal dress with a wonderful top hat resplendent with Celtic silver craft. Pity the music was a bit crap, difficult to dance to, Rocky Horror and Rod Stewart but a good time was had by all. I indulged in some sensuous salsa - mmmmm yummy, must get enrolled at a local class - and got twirled and spun round. It was lovely.

Final goodbyes were not as emotional as I thought they would be, we had a farewell Class of 2002 photo, and all agreed to meet up for a 'Seminar Club' - I am in charge of organising, (its sad how people that have become very special to us can drift when just a little effort to keep it together would work wonders), so once a month or so we will be having a curry and a free seminar at the training institute and a chat into the wee small hours.

Nothing comes close to the attachment I have felt in this group, nothing else in my life provides this kind of intimacy and structure. Nothing else has been so special, so 'mine' - I proved to myself that I CAN belong, that I CAN be close and that I CAN be important, and be loved for who I am - warts and all (not literally of course - being a witch and having warts does not necessarily go together).

So there you have it, that's where I have been over the weekend, and I shall tell you all about the spooky and powerful phenomenon of 'Transference' next time.

Hugs xxx

PS Next academic year I am going into Exam Group - dissertation beckons, and my Masters, I am entirely ready for the journey.

7 comments:

Kahless said...

This post is a real happy one, though as you say, it is about endings which can be rubbish.

Congratulations on what you have achieved. It is massive. And no doubt you will accomplish much more in the years that follow. Good on you.

Queen Vixen said...

Thanks K, it was happy. A good ending, I used to think that good endings were impossible, but the one at the weekend most deffinately was :o)

craig andrew said...

Congrats!!! I think my bank need to learn about transference. They screwing that up. Unless, of course, you meant something else? C;)

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Another congrats here for you. A brilliant achievement you have reached!!!

Kahless said...

I have an award nomination for you on my latest post.

Queen Vixen said...

Craig: Maybe you are transfering some negative stuff onto your bank, expecting them to screw up, so thats what they do on an organisational level ... or maybe I analyse stuff too much .... maybe I just need to chuckle at the joke and let it pass ... and relax!

Vi: Thanks Vi, I do feel proud of myself. It has cost me a fortune to train - its nice to know I am earning a decent living from it too.

Kahless: Thank you thank you thank you. I am really chuffed - I shall be blogging a response. "I've got an award!" :o)xx

Pixie said...

As a reward for being so clever you've been got an award. Well you will have when I've written it.p
px