Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Feeling Wierd

I feel dead weird tonight. I don't seem to be up to a witty comment, or a contemporary view or anything much really. I shall just check in and check out.

I think I need a really long cry, or maybe a really long holiday or both. Instead I think I will take a bath and read a witchy book and allow the warm water to wash away my troubles.

I guess I am tired tonight, lots of pressure - always lots of intrigue. I need a quiet life, I really do. My life is so filled with stuff, its exhausting - most of the time I am really up for it, but not tonight.

Had an emotional day at the surgery I work at. Saw my patients, loved them all as usual - so beautiful to see that spark in each - that striving for life, I adore that. The need for survival and growth.

Then I went out to my daughters year 9 play, she was a star - as were the rest. A dark and sinister play performed with maturity and enthusiasm.

Which just leaves the bath. I am feeling hungry having done well on my diet. The thought of those leather trousers and long leather coat (which is my reward for target of 10 stone) keeps me going while I grapple with hunger and general weirdness.

I did have my solstice ritual last night. The meeting of the coven I belong to. Trouble is that I end up doing therapy, (occupational hazard), I need to stop giving so much - I need something putting back in sometimes.

We had a lovely night. Did some shamanic work, used the talking stick, the rattles and drummed. I got to meet my male side, he is a real rogue, leather trousers (see it came from somewhere) young, long blonde hair, beard - built like a greyhound, just got off a horse or something. He smoked too - he was great. I liked him, I want to be more like him. Very free child. I met my female counterpart to, I know her well, rather beautiful - graceful and wise. Blonde again, long silver cloak and hair in Scandinavian plaits (I have Norwegian heritage) she was all nurture and gentleness. She takes care of me.
I feel I am ready for more in my witchy work. It is an inner journey which affects the external world and I want to travel and learn and grow.

So that's it really. I will read some of your lovely blogs and then its essential oils of ylang ylang and jasmine for me.

Take care of yourselves xxxx

7 comments:

Kahless said...

Smoking is good to suppress the appetite if you want to loose some weight. Mind you, it does has it down sides!!

Queen Vixen said...

So I have heard. I actually did try smoking not so long ago. I bought a friend a pipe, he had harboured the desire for one for a long time and had a 'dont smoke' injunction from his parents. I facilitated his release and also provided a bag of herbal smokes. Of course I was required to try it too - not bad, not bad - bit like inhaling a bonfire. I felt a bit frisky afterwards too (blend was supposed to facilitate astral travel). I also had a go at a pookah type contraption in a wonderful asian restuarant in Brum, now that I could do on a regular basis! I felt like the catapiller in Alice - it was lovely. So me and smokes! I can see myself as a wise old crone, big long pipe puffing away and mixing potions. Sounds like a plan to me. xxx

Böbø said...

Sounds like you need strokes Queen Vixen. Long lavish strokes from a fawning courtly retinue of lusty stallions - warriors and wise men.

Men to flatter you
Men to entertain you
Men to adore you
Men to love you
Men to captivate and enthral you

Sure, essential oils and holidays are fine. But a Queen needs her courtiers in servile attendance :)

♥ x ♥

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

I hope the bath did the trick. You're just drained from giving out so much.

Queen Vixen said...

Bobo: ahhh the good old days lol but jesting aside, I do need some strokes. The stroke bank is in the red.

Vi: The bath certainly helped, and a good nights sleep. My hair resembled Cherie Blair this morning and even an extended wrestle with the straighteners was to no avail. I am giving too much out at the moment. A big recharge is due.

xx

Kahless said...

Stroke bank in the red...
well lots and lots of big positive strokes from me.
xx.

Queen Vixen said...

Thank you K, nice big positive strokes paid in! Balance healthier :0)