Pussy cat, pussy cat

Where have you been?

I am off to London to GRADUATE!!!! Woo hoo!!!!

Its been a long time coming. 20 years to be precise but tomorrow I get to wear the Cap and Gown. I will be posting pics on my Blog and Facebook. I am so so so excited.

I will be catching the train early tomorrow - have an afternoon in the big city, a meal with my fellow graduees in evening and then all the pomp and ceremony the following day. All that hard work - all the essay hell! I am going to enjoy the fruits of my labours.

Then there is just the MSc final lap - piece of cake :o)

Few odds and sods

Thank you thank you thank you all you lovely people who commented on my blog - I know I have not got round to replying to your comments or reading your blogs - I am in a 'blog flap' as I know I have been neglecting you and my precious blog which I love ever so much.

However - here is the plan today

1. Apply for my own job
2. Complete my application for another MSc - I am pretty sure I wont have to go through with it as there are other more suitable courses but it has to be done for 1.(see above).
3. Apply to become a member of the BABCP - necessary for 1. but nowhere near as onerous as applying to the BACP.
4. Bless the new trees planted in my garden.
5. Blog.

I have a Barb-b-Que to attend later on - a couple of friends who magnetically attract wet weather. Look up - see!

Just before I get down to it I have one question for you to ponder. Gay men - do they fly under the radar? I really love gay men (well the ones that I know) and allow them in ever so close. Much closer than your average straight man. I am going to be initiated in October and the High Priest performing the ritual is a gay man. This has led to much muttering amongst certain (bitter) circles about gay men gaining access to the inner sanctum of women. Discuss.

Catch you later!

Thomas Dolby - I am an 80's chick after all

Now I have an hours drive to work I am playing all of my Cd's in order. I am finding it such a good experience. I play one from the beginning of the alphabet then one from the end (anal I know - blush!) then one of Bobo's Cd's that he so lovingly burns for me from time to time.

At the moment its Evanescence and Tangerine Dream with an Ambient Trance vol II. However .... it WAS Thomas Dolby. I was a little reluctant at first but then ... oh my goodness. I was transfixed. I was back to sixth form - Sarah Ferguson hair ribbons, ra ra skirts and new romantics. Bliss! The point at which I was too frightened to be fully me ... but now ... revisiting from a place of power - orgasmic! - nostalgia ... oh yes!

Thomas was the epitome of it all. Europa and the Pirate Twins, One of our Submarines and the evocative Airwaves which had it had had a love song lyric would have been one of the all time greats. I wouldn't change it though .... augmented fifths a plenty to the literary backdrop of pylons and urban isolation. Pass me my curling tongs and off the shoulder number. Wonderful stuff!

I was a science chick - biology, chemistry AND physics A grade at O level, AND at A level. Oh Thomas ... who extolled the virtues of the brainy girl. My hero!

Vive la 80's and amen to teenage angst and passion!

Summer Solstice

I watched the sun rise today. It was wonderful. As I look out at the drizzle and the lack of light now, it is hard to believe that the dawn was clear, bright and dry.

I got up at 4am - made a cup of tea and read a little then ventured outside at about 4.30 and stayed outside until the sun rose above the horizon. The Sun - element of Fire - the powerhouse of life itself. Its energy photons are what sustain us all. The plants convert it into a usable form and then the energy travels up the food chain. Upon death the plants fertilise the next generation through returning the energy to the soil - and over vast ages that energy gets stored in fossil fuels - the blood and bones of the planet. How reckless of man to chop down the very means by which we live and to burn up, plunder and squander the vast store houses of energy that have been laid down for millions of years.

Reckless indeed.

As I sat and watched the roseate glow on the horizon,the light growing ever stronger, I observed a plane fly across the sky. How ironic - man and his greed, his need for more than is needed to live, love and be happy. There was the epitome of wastefulness; burning fuel and belching out fumes just at the moment the source of life was rising on the longest day in our Northern hemisphere - smiling down on our beautiful, fragile planet.

The birdsong was joyful and plaintive - do you know that rooks caw three times in a row. I didn't until I sat and observed. My cats were thrilled to have me outside so early - they frolicked on the grass and sensed the excitement and the reverence.

The sun rose. I delivered my salutation and was humbled by my smallness. I asked for a Blessing and offered my energy in return. I vowed to preserve as much energy as I could. Stop boiling kettles for cups of tea that then don't get made, turn off the lights when not needed, recycle and buy recycled goods, share lifts. Small offerings made in gratitude.

Solstice Blessings!

Bring on the Fire

Only one client today. I turned down two others - it was entirely for self protection. I have to contain the paperwork monster and its becoming clear that a day a week is minimum requirement to keep from being dragged off by said monster and kept in a dungeon.

I had a client phone up last night - she wanted at least half an hour free therapy on the phone. I had had a drink so I was not able to oblige. I had a client get rather irritated when I refused to do an hour and a half session at 6pm tonight. (making my finishing time 7.30) - even though I explained that I really do not have the energy or resources to work that late on a Friday (I am fried). I also had a client leave a number of messages wanting to turn up at lunch time today to be squeezed in. Again I said no - I had plans to catch up. I do find it hard to say no but am learning that no one is going to say no for me (or rescue me from my own helpfulness) so I have to do it for myself.

I am also attempting to make my experience a little more of a soul satisfying experience. I get rather depressed in clinical reality and have to have something a little spiritual to be able to breathe and feel ok. So just before I tackle the pile I am popping out to get a 'Fire' candle to burn in my study. It is the Solstice tomorrow and for me this marks the end of the realm of Air - logic, thought and academic endeavour and into the new era of Fire - passion, inspiration, action and productivity. So I am going to get a bright red candle and light it, and invite its dancing flame to inspire me to greater productivity and inspirational achievement.

Catch you later!

So missed this

Hello, hello, hello. So missed blogging. I really have. So good to be doing it again. I love being creative and have to say that Tony inspired me today - he has started following me on Twitter. Now there is another little something that I have been neglecting - so thanks Graffiti, your little smidgen of attention has worked wonders :o)

Things are OK for me at the moment but I have been neglecting my friends. I have been so caught up in all the hoops I have to pass through to be recognised as a competent human being that I have lost touch with everyone.

So my apologies you wonderful people. I really value being part of networks. I so love everyones'individuality, the special things ... the nuances of character.

In fact I may indulge in a little Boboesque stroke fest of all of you on my blog roll - because you are all ace! I am feeling all loved up and happy.

I am going to a festival too ... first time so its just a Saturday day pass but its a step forward. Life is soooo good! I feel like I am finally where I should have been, the road less travelled worked out Ok in the end.

Love you all!

My Admin week is over - woo hoo!

Its done - its all sorted!

That means its not really done but its all arranged into pretty paper folders with 'to do' lists relevant to each folder inserted in the front cover.

Phew! What a relief.

I have managed to do a lot too - got lots of niggly jobs done - I know where I am and its a satisfying feeling.

I am also aware of what a tedious madam I have become on this blog. Must reconnect to a bit of proper Queeny - start debating some spiritual issues etc

However my Faerie guide this new moon was quite clear - GET THE BLOODY JOBS DONE THEN PLAY!

That's not really my Script pattern - I like having fun first then paying a heavy price - but I have buckled down (winged, moaned and bewailed my fate) and have done it. I feel all fresh and sparkly! Will be even more sparkly soon as I have a Lush glittery bath ballistic to use - it promises to contain a silver butterfly inside its fizzing glory.

I shall let you know!

I am taking my African Shaman into the bath with me - not literally of course (damn it) but in literary form. Malidoma Patrice Some - check out his writing, it is exquisite; really moving stuff about the clash of culture. Its sounds heavy but somehow its not - the human spirit soars from its pages and his reverence for the earth, its spirit and manhood is breathtaking.

Manhood is currently a big topic for me - so many lost young men come to me seeking help (psychologically) and there is work to be done in empowering men again, empowering them to be true men with strength, sensitivity and spiritual wisdom.

I shall debate it more - at least that last little paragraph was a tad more interesting than my organisational exploits.

Take care y'all! xxx

Such a mix

I have 5 minutes before QI so I will be quick. My week of admin is grinding to a halt - it has been an at the coal face sort of a week - the sort of a week I run a mile from. All practicality and jobs that HAVE to be done. I like to inhabit a twilight world of vaguely clever fantasy ordinarily but this week the bills, the course requirements, the job criteria and hell! the parking fines all intervened and squatted in a bit ugly pile on my version of reality.

Just looking down my list of things still to do,

Update my logs
CRB check (buggered up the first attempt)
Write Section C - too much admin cluttered my ability to create
Prepare for my group Tuesday
Join BACP - still too daunting, the 70 page long form is hiding under the bed waiting to terrorise me in the long, dark night.
Send off deposit for a wonderful family constellations course.
Pay speeding fine
Blog (well there is one success)
Renew my Pagan Federation membership
Research the Goddess Conference, local music festival and highly dodgy couples workshop
Work out whether to go to Peru next year on a walking challenge.

Still lots to do - and I have left stuff out. At least I know what it is - knowledge is the first part of the sorting process.

Hope to blog tomorrow - in the meantime Steven Fry beckons!

Skint with a week off

Hello all!

Once again I apologise for being sloppy with my blogging. I went away to Glastonbury for the weekend and took leave of my senses in the wierdy shops ... I spent a lot. The Buddhists would have me down for a lot of self grasping behaviour, the wiccans would celebrate the abundance. I am just going to have to stay in for 3 weeks with no trips out, treats or meals with friends in order to make up for my excessive spending spree.

Still, I got some great stuff - lots of books, incense, witchy things and a particularly phallic fire candle in readiness for Solstice in June. Job done!

I am having a week off to catch up on all my admin and paperwork and to write Section C of my dissertation. Unfortunately admin and paperwork is necessary to secure my new job whereas the dissertation can afford to drift by a couple of months. There are a lot of 'chicken and egg' decisions to make at the moment. What comes first? What needs to be done to facilitate the rest - kind of stuff. I am doing my best to stay cheerful but nothing puts me in a foul mood more than an 'epitome of the nanny state, prove you actually exist and are not a two headed Mongolian, anal, crappy, rant provoking' CRB check.

Right I am off to do a bit of shopping in Derby - not personal shopping but birthday shopping for my dear old Mum (all budgeted for) then its back to the CRB check, the Uni application form, the BACP accreditation form (70 bloody pages long - can you believe it? - I cant).

Will catch you later. Hugs xxxx

Rat Race

Just a quickie as I am in the middle of preparation for work tomorrow.

I feel as if I am on a treadmill - trudging along. My optimistic and slightly eccentric outlook on life sometimes deserts me, often due to hormonal reasons or overwork or stuff that's going on but by and large I am able to enjoy things, drink the elixir of life, squeal with pleasure ... you get the picture!

Not so tonight.

I have seen clients back to back throughout the day. The last one did not finish till 5.30, got stuck in traffic which meant I did not get home till 6.45. I have eaten my meagre but healthy dinner and now I am back in my office preparing for work tomorrow!

So, I ask myself, is this it? Is this what life is going to be like for the next umpteen years. Now in my rational moments I know this is not true. There is so much exciting and wonderful stuff going on in my life at the moment I can barely get a full nights sleep due to anticipation. Not so tonight - tonight it seems bleak.

After running off my handouts for my over 35's group (all relationship stuff) and catching up on my screening intakes, and a letter to an errant patient I have to boldly go into the kitchen to prepare for tomorrows lunch.

Tomorrow the alarm will go off at 7am - up for a run, shower, breakfast, drive to work, work, eat prepared lunch, more work, drive home, eat meagre dinner, prepare for presentation the following day, back into kitchen to prepare tomorrows lunch ... and so on.

Oh grizzly.

I need my fairy goggles so it can all seem magical again.

Funny what too much progesterone can do for one. Sigh!