Thursday, January 31, 2008

I'm 'avin' hoops!

Anyone that relished the wonderful Life on Mars will recognise the quote. The inimitable Gene Hunt and his 'in yer face' attitude.

Well .... thats what I live with. The errant Mr Vix who will be known from here on in as 'The Homicidal Buddhist' is Gene Hunt the second.

I went to the accountants today. I am about to submitt my accounts for my second year of trading, even though I am in year 4 now. Its how it works apparently. With my first year set up costs, EXORBITANT training costs and a previous accounts cock up I made a loss in my first year - to be expected.

Second year I also expected to make a loss due to afore mentioned EXORBITANT training costs but in fact I made a £2500 profit - Wey Hey! Not bad for a second year. However the accountant had me down for having a meagre £3,000 income. "Not so" I protested. Homicidal Buddhist aka Gene Hunt II pointed out to the accountant that there was a blue sticky label obscuring the true income figure in the official file (there was indeed - a foolish error on the part of the accountant), and that therefore the accounts would have to be redone. There then ensued a bad tempered and unpleasant exchange of views as to the validitiy of the figures, the relevance of bank statements, paying in slips etc as evidence and the alleged incompetance of 'said accountant'. I sat there as the storm raged around my ears until Gene II told 'said accountant' that he was doing his head in, should stop being childish and admit he had buggered up! He then stormed from the room and told 'said accountant' that he needed to cool off before "I do something I may regret".

I was then left in the room with 'said accountant', a room unused to such uproar, with a tumble weed silence to endure. I simply picked up my bag and said I would wait in the foyer. Oh grizzly!

This has nothing on the incident the previous week. Gene II and me were reversing out of a parking spot in the sleepy town of Uttoxeter. Some old guy would not wait for the entire manoevre to complete and drove past at speed, narrowly avoiding our car. Well ..... what then followed was a high speed chase throught the car park. There was a screeching of tires and a lovely diagonal parking position from Gene II as he lept out of the car, still in motion I might add ... and began abusing the old guy. Now I do not have a lot of sympathy for the old guy, he was being impatient and foolish but I could not bare to watch as the tirade of abuse poured down upon him and his wife as he shakily tried to call the police on his mobile.

Grizzly indeed. Mr Vix/Homicidal Buddhist/Gene Hunt II does not always behave in this way. However the more rational moments do not make for good blogging ;o)

I meanwhile have had a cup of 'tranquility' tea and consolled myself with the fact that I wont be paying tax for at least another year.


Kahless said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kahless said...

I hope that the accountant is amortising the set-up costs so you dont have to pay tax next year either.

Vi said...

Oh dear, road rage at it's worst! At least he didn't hit you! I had an old fart nearly do the same thing to me the other day, I was so pissed off, I couldn't find the horn to hit!

Oh and YAY on the no tax! I made an amazing profit of £63 in my first year!

Queen Vixen said...

Kahless: Lets hope so after the bollocking he had eh?

Vi:Road rage and old farts do seem to go together.

Well done on making a profit in the firts year. Brilliant achievment.

Queen Vixen said...

Did you spot the dyslexic moment? I have a touch of the condition - cant spell and get letters jumbled up