The Mighty Cheese

So here it is, the long awaited cheese post. I hope it is worth the wait. The idea came while I was lying in the bath and thinking of how cheeses have different characteristics and that you could fit certain characteristics to certain people. I began to think of what sort of cheese I would be. I am still undecided and will invite suggestions. People are fairly particular about cheeses, some adore the blue veined rich and tangy sorts, others prefer the milder, creamier types. Some seem to be universal favourites while others are acquired tastes. So I have decided to assign you all a cheese based on my impression of you through your writing, please don't be offended if I don't come up with one of your favourites for you, I have explained each of my choices.

Bobo: Austrian Smoked. I was tempted to say Edam due to the Dutch heritage and would have named a Polish cheese if I knew any, but I wanted to capture the 'continental' nature of young Bobo, and the impish quality that he has. He is an unusual one, that is for sure. Austrian smoked sums him up, what you see on the outside gives nothing away as to the smoky quality that you find on the inside. Out of the ordinary, a surprisingly mild texture and often appears in the cheese pic n mix - loves the attention and is often found at parties.

Chopski: Without wishing to be cheesy, no pun intended, Chopski has to be Danish Blue - the name alone nods in the direction of Ivana, spanking and all the things that Chopski indulges in when he is not chasing the elusive 'People's friend'. Danish blue has hidden qualities too - milder in nature than the usual veined cheeses and so can surprise with depth and perception.

Craig: Craig is goats cheese. There is no way that he is run of the mill; he chooses a different path and presents alternative ways of looking at the world. Hey is it always about cows milk? Not according to Craig! Mild in nature and providing a unique experience for the discerning palette.

Darth: Monterrey Jack. The all American Cheese and all round performer. He is prone to melting softly but still adds bite to most dishes. He is resilient and versatile and usable even when hard and crusty. A cheese for all seasons and highly recommended for migraine sufferers, as he is guaranteed not to give you a headache.

Dj: Sage Derby. A cheese of distinct flavour. Attractive, vibrant, vivacious. She has a unique quality and has over the years has contained not just the healing qualities of sage but other medicinal, and health enhancing garden herbs. A rustic cheese that has homely origins yet is tangy, challenging and completely intoxicating.

Exmoor Jane: Cheshire I would say. Not had too much to do with her yet but am impressed by the mild and mellow texture of her writing. Nothing too harsh, and a lovely addition to any cheese board.

Hedgewizard: Hedge is one of those regional cheeses that is made with seasonal fruit. Somerset Damson, or Dorset Bilberry - mild, creamy, most deffinately fruity and bursting with tangy berries. Velvet texture with the ability to surprise and amuse.



Hullaballoo: Feta - it was tempting to pick an Isle of Bute Cheddar but I think not, her nature is softer, more accommodating - a versatile cheese that is at home in a mixed bean hot pot as well as melting on top of an Italian pizza.

Kahless: This was a hard one as there are many shades of Kahless - in the end I plumped for Mature Cheddar. Real, tangy, crumbly delicious Cheddar. A universal favourite who has the kind of taste that suits all sorts of moods. Works just as well on a stick with a chunk of pineapple as she does in a tangy cheese sauce. Ploughman's lunch or cheese butty for all those days working with the concrete, and the ability to mingle beautifully with fish or chicken for those quieter more subtle dishes. Versatility is the quality here and a good all round performer.

L-q-s: A soft cheese and garlic roulle. Deliciously tasty with a tantalising combination of creamy cheese, rustic herbs and garlic, all presented delightfully. A spiral shape which represents her Celtic heritage and goddess spirituality.

Prada Pixie: Camembert - generally arrives in a petite and beautifully presented box often with pretty gingham trim. Obviously of good background, classy french and able to be enjoyed while fresh and firm with white wine and olives, or to be savoured when allowed to ripen over time as a rich and indulgent treat.

Silent Observer: Edam for him. Encased in wax to keep prying eyes away from the very salty, moreish interior. Often dismissed as an unworthy cheese and overlooked for more 'conventional' cheesy delights yet nothing satisfies as much as a hastily grabbed chunk of Edam and a pickled onion. Nibbletastic.(By the way, if everyone shouts very loud he might just wake up! - Woo hoo Silent!)

Vi: What else but Stilton. Queen of the Cheeses. Unrivalled for ripeness, bite and flavour. In yer face, no compromise - like it or 'f**k off' and certainly not for wimps. Can create obsessive lust in cheese worshippers, and has caused the downfall of many a good christian.

Wake up: Brie - elegant, sophisticated and to be served at room temperature with grapes and a cold glass of chardonnay. A thoughtful cheese, not to be scoffed down in a frenzy but taken and savoured with discernment.

Westerwitch: A new comer to my blog roll and rather hard to decide upon, but I reckon a Red Leicester for her. Commanding a loyal following, distinctive, tangy - a colourful character who also has versatility, and can pep up the ordinary.

Enjoy your nibbles!