I have been feeling pretty bad lately. Felt really bad over the weekend, that horrid depressed bad where everything is just too much of an effort. I have been adapting heavily lately too - lost myself somewhere and have been whirling round in confusion.
Last night I had a dream. Two dreams. One was set in a very snowy landscape, all dark ice and about 5 minutes survival time if you stepped out of the insulated pods we humans were using to navigate the ice. There were monsters on the ice. Savage machine like beasts that sought to extinguish all life and heat. My pod had malfunctioned and another had gone over in some kind of accident. Me and the driver of the other were only feet away from each other, we stared out of our portholes transfixed with terror and we both knew that a monster was coming. I was terrified. Suddenly there it was - all machine and robotic logic, huge pincer claws and blades. It went for the other pod. The ferocity of the attack meant that my pod skidded across the ice and into safety behind the security fence. I watched with relief and horror as my colleague was torn apart.
The second was indoors, still on the ice but in safety and warmth. I was in a room with Stephen Fry. I was trying to get a pair of tights off (grizzly things I know but the only choice with a mini skirt) and they were all twisted up with my knickers. I was expending a lot of energy trying to be discreet. In the end I asked Stephen to avert his gaze. He looked me in the eye and said, "My dear - if you were stark naked I still would not be bothered one jot. Get your bloody knickers sorted and stop worrying about me." I whipped them off - not a care in the world - sorted myself out and then we both had a cup of tea.
When I woke up I realised that it was time to stop being depressed, stop being low and sad. It was time to re engage with my personality. To start to smile and laugh and have fun. It was time to shake my booty - live and love! Its so easy to get bogged down with misery, to be so stuck in bad things; the negatives and when we do we can lose sight of the wonder of life. To be able to breathe, to taste, to feel the air on our faces. To dance - and I have danced tonight and it felt wonderful. I am always encouraging my clients, my family, my friends and all those fabulous people that are close to me that JOY is so important! Time to be joyful myself. We all are alive, sentient, sensuous, incredible - capable of so much. Lets celebrate!
12 comments:
Well, no more getting your knickers in a twist for you, my dear. Time to grab life by the bollocks with a deliciously refined cup of Earl Grey Tea.
Where were you dancing? Was it a class, or were you just chillin out and listening to some funky musik at home? Somehow I picture you doing flamenco, in my mind's eye. All that joyful stomping sounds right where you are at.
Glad you are in a better place, lovely woman.
I'm so pleased that you are turning it round.... keep dancing girl!
Then we can cast spells next week over Derby om the bewitched night!!
pxx
Hull: Thanks - that means a lot. I have my very own style of dancing which is a cross between belly dancing and pole dancing. I like to do it to sexy music - in this case it was some Metallica. Raunchy and expressive. I did draw the blinds first - no point scaring the neighbours.
Pix: I do feel better Pix, thanks. Dancing is such a great release. I must find my local Salsa class! We shall be a brewing spells and charms a plenty next week. Bring your cards!
Dance is liberation for the soul.
Dj: It most certainly is. Its a way of connecting with that deepest child energy. To be free of body and mind. To luxuriate in movement.
Great dreams; have you tried to interpret them. Glad to hear I am not the only one to have futuristic dreams.
And knickers in a twist lol!
Hope you are doing ok Dr. Vix.
And I thought I had weird dreams, lol! Pixie has just commented on my blog that you may be able to help me out with a current 'spirit' problem I've blogged about tonight. My dreams seems to be turning more into a reality. Wondering if you do have any advice for me. I need all the help I can get, cause I need sleep!
Dance is great, have you tried http://www.5rhythms.co.uk/?
QV - I have this opinion that our higher selves are able to screw with our emotions in the way of cutting off the energy and they do that to prepare us for a message. Kind of making sure we are not distracted and paying attention... but that is just me. Glad you are feeling better. C:)
I always find a cup of tea is the ideal thing to have after I struggle to get my tights off with Stephen Fry watching!
Oh Lordy QV, a cross between belly dancing and pole dancing. Why close the blinds?
I have a friend in her sixties who teaches pole dancing and she ALWAYS keeps the curtains open. Go on, give it a go, as you are feeling vivacious. Honestly, what's the worst that can happen?
I wonder what would happen if you attempted to belly dance up a pole? I have no answer to that, just a mental picture of a weirdy cross between Bridget Jones' Diary and Fireman Sam.
Kahless: I am aware that they are about survival of me at a soul level, and to stop getting my knickers in a twist about stuff that does not matter. I do have futeristic dreams. Its all the Sci Fi that I watch :o)
Vi: I will leave some comments on your blog. Casting a circle, closing down your psychic centres and the liberal use of salt will all help. More detail in your comments.
Cas: I will give it a go. Thanks!
Craig: Interesting thought and I do agree with you. Depression is the body's way of slowing us down so that the real issues have the space and time to emerge. So our higher self is at work.
Chopski: A cup of tea cures many ills.
Hull: Closing the blinds had something to do with me being in me pinny - I was cooking at the time. Pole dancing in a pinny only works if the pinny is the only thing one is wearing.
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