Sunday, October 07, 2007
Hello all you lovely bloggers. I have 15 mins before the rugby so am squeezing in a quick post. Wasn't the match great yesterday? There I was, anticipating defeat and England pulled it out of the bag - or scrum I should say. I am rather fond of rugby, I like the way it utilises men of all different shapes and sizes. The skinny whippet like chaps as well as the huge beasts of men. All work together in a real mans game; blooded, bruised and sweating. Its rather primitive but who cares, helps the ironing to pass with relative ease.
Talking about different shapes and sizes. I have stopped dieting FOREVER! I realised what a farce it was for me. What a performance! The same old pattern of setting myself up with unobtainable goals, a massive parent structure for me to rebel against (spectacularly) and bloody expensive. So after spending my last £10 on a syn calculator and parting with £4.50 to be told I had only lost half a pound I decided enough is enough.
Truth be told I was feeling something of a hypocrite. I rabbit on about the evils of Size Zero and celebrating real women's shapes and there I was eating fat free yogurt (an evil brew) and almost weeping at the thought of denying myself fish and chips. So I have kicked it out and its never going to return. Instead I am going to make big grown up adult choices to eat healthily and exercise sensibly. Hey presto! Does not take a brain surgeon eh? I know how to eat a healthy diet, I know that I feel better when I am running regularly - I know that drinking is best reserved for a Saturday night when I can feel sluggish without guilt the next day.
So how do I feel? Great! No more being deprived, feeling cheated, feeling starved and sneaking stuff into my mouth when I think no one is looking. Since I started being a grown up about it and celebrating my body - (which is actually awesome, narcissistic confidence maybe but I have been told so too) - I have lost 3lbs. Wey hey! All I have done is decide to chew really slowly and eat smaller portions with lots of fresh fruit and veg. I can have treats but only bits of them, so I get the taste and not the damage. I am all of a sudden TAKING RESPONSIBILITY instead of setting up some crap unobtainable target so that I can feel a failure all the time. I do intend to be under 11 stone at the blog party - just by being sensible, I am tall so can carry it off. My ultimate target is 10 stone 5 - really do-able, and I shall buy myself shoes and stuff along the way. Alternative treats that last!
The matrix leather coat remains the ultimate reward, but I shall allow myself the discreet tattoo before that. Oh and the new shoes, boots and the joy of having my colours done! If this seems a bit indulgent then I must explain that two things were missing in my childhood. Food (Dad ate it all, or we had none - long story) and clothes (charity shops and hand me downs all the way). So if my kid has grown up at last with regard to food then maybe she can still have a fling with the clothes, accessories and pretty, girlie things.
OK, so its about to start - just going to have a dish of pineapple, grapes and mango. Mmmmmm good food for a goddess body, good health and the reward of those gorgeous little high heels!