Its official!

Happy Samhain - tis the start of the new year tomorrow - the Celtic new year that is.

I was initiated into the Craft proper last night. It was amazing - a truly joyful, spiritual experience.

I have a new name and feel very fresh and young.

I also got told I have a silver aura with sparkly bits which means I am a clairvoyant. (Second time I have been told that so evidence is building) I was up for hearing anything along those lines last night. I also got told that I live in my head a lot of the time and I am a Creator of parallel worlds.

Ah .... good witchy stuff indeed.

I am just off to soak in a bath full of magical bubbles, drink a bottle of cider and relax into my new status.

Blessings of light and darkness to you all. For there is not one without the other.

Much love my precious blog chums.

Trampishness

I cant be arsed to get up in the morning and go running. I cant really be arsed to take my make up off - so I may go to bed and let it come off naturally on the pillow.

Arent I a scurfy madam?

A Powerful Week

Before I even turned over the energy card I had picked for the week I knew it was Power. I really like choosing that one. I have been feeling powerful of late.

This week I have my initiation. It will be done on Thursday - we are drafting in a High Priest to perform the ceremony. My bestest witchy friend is initiating too as part of her growth and development.

I have chosen my Goddess - Freyja - a Norse Goddess to reflect my Scandinavian heritage. I often meet her on my inner journeying. She is my higher self.

I am looking forward to the whole thing. Power is part of the picture! Initiation is empowering, especially being a woman - in wicca the female is first amongst equals.

I have my black cord, I believe there is some tying and blindfolding involved.

I will then take on the attributes of the Goddess chosen; the archetype develops in the subconscious.

You will have to tell me if you see a difference.

Samhain blessings to you all.

One last thing to do ...

Over recent years I have been ironing out the creases in my life. Sorting out all the things that were unresolved. Getting to a place where I am truly happy and feeling pretty ecstatic all the time. Believe me - I am there, and its fantastic!

Just one enigma remains - one little mystery that I seem quite unable to deal with. My weight. Getting to a reasonable, healthy, OK weight has eluded me. Sure I have done Weight Watchers and Slimming World - duly lost all I should but then back it goes. I have got Paul McKennas system - eminently sensible until you consider that eating when hungry might actually mean tucking into a prawn salad in the middle of a patients emotional disclosure. Can you imagine it ... "Would you mind holding on to that sadness, I will be with you in a minute right after my meal" ... mmm just a tad impractical.

I have been told, and I think he is right, that I am manifesting a struggle with weight. Because I believe I cannot do it then I am creating a reality that means I cant. I know that I have to get my mind sorted out on this one ... but how?

I have visualised, affirmed, pledged, confronted, encouraged contamination free autonomy but to no avail.

No good affirming my sexy slimness while scarfing down a bag of chips and cider (groan)!

Planning is the key - motivating myself to get off the sofa and prepare tomorrows salad. I am an expert on food science, nothing is confusing me as far as knowledge is concerned.

I am about to face another festive season - I would rather be able to get into my size 14 spangly mini skirt than look like the proverbial xmas pudding!

All diets start on a Monday so I will heave myself back onto the wagon next week - having self administered all the intensive psychotherapuetic techniques that I can dredge up over the weekend.

Wish me luck!

PS I am only 11 stone 13 - and 5 foot 7 - its not vast but its more of a (butter) mountain than a molehill.

New Goddess - subject close to my heart

Just a quickie as I have just got it - poured a glass of wine and have my tea warming in the oven. Tepid food is always rather grizzly.

Full moon and Mei has reminded me to update you on my new goddess. Eurynome - goddess of ecstasy.

I have felt under a lot of pressure lately but its not going to stop me experiencing ecstasy. Pleasure is something I firmly believe in and it keeps me sane. It keeps anyone sane. Mental health is easy once you have cleared out the crap ... just do enough things that give you a sense of achievement, mastery and pleasure. A sense of self - sensual experience, ecstasy. I always attend to that aspect with all my clients.

I am a hedonistic pleasure junkie because its GOOD for me, for everyone. Who said life had to be tough! Life should be a pleasure not a chore. If you examine indigenous cultures they work for about three days a week - the rest of the time is spent socialising, engaged in spiritual practice or having fun.

Sounds like a recipe for good mental health! So get with the pleasure. Do something you enjoy - something that really hits that pleasure zone. Come join in the ecstasy!

Instant gratification v creative exploration

Every so often I get a fixation with facebook. I am just coming out of the latest one. I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

Facebook is quick and transient - good fun but I am aware I get unsettled by it. Measuring worth by how many friends are in my stash.

The blog is far more cerebral. I do prefer it. It the difference between an intimate conversation and talking about the weather.

One thing I want to do before I die

OK, so here it is.

I want to be in some front room somewhere or indeed a bedroom. A group of people that are into expanding consciousness in some way. People I like, that have that group thing going on.

I want to be in the dark with candles, in the wee small hours listening to Tubular Bells on some kick ass stereo, smoking a joint. I have never smoked a joint but its something my poor beleaguered teenager wants to do.

I have never sat in the dark in the wee small hours with a group of interesting folk either but somehow that bit does not need explaining.

I want to let the music flow through my veins and allow the illicit substance to enhance that experience. I want to laugh and talk and fall asleep where I am lying.

Then I want to get up in the morning and giggle over a bowl of cornflakes.

Its all very innocent ... ish. But its my dream.