Friday, February 08, 2008

How do you eat yours?

How do you eat yours? - overused cliche? Maybe, but as I swing round the cusp of the year and into Jan/Feb/March I inwardly groan because in spite of all the resolutions to get fit and slim Cadbury's Creme Eggs appear in the shops.

I LOVE Cadbury's Creme Eggs. Always have - always will. It is a short lived 'season'; once Easter has passed then I no longer have the urge to scarf down the tempting little blighters.

I become furtive in my habits, I secret the eggs about my person and my house. There are egg stashes in my drawers and I get the shakes if I think I have not got the safety net of at least three in reserve at any one time. Woe betide anyone that touches my eggs!

The ritual of enjoyment is always the same. Not for me the quick chomp or eating on the run. No, eating of a Creme Egg is a precise science, a work of art, a traditional ceremony.

First there is the tea - there has to be tea, steaming hot and in a mug (no poncey cups) and there is the clearing of space. Minumum of 20mins. The Egg is taken while reclining on a sofa. Next the wrapper is peeled off, only half though, half remains in place to provide non chocolately handling. Then the anticipation, looking at the smooth brown promise of it, knowing that inside is the white, creamy fondant just waiting to be released in a flood of pleasure.

So then comes the dipping. The exposed egg is dipped into the hot tea, the warmth beginning to melt the chocolate which is licked off slowly, savouing every moment on the tongue - with each lick the fondant gets closer and closer to the surface, till only the thinnest and most exquisite layer of chocolate prevents the full experience.

The anticipation, the delight!!

Then comes the release - in one glorious moment the fondant is revealed and its time for fingers. Mmmmm plunging the finger into that well of sweetness and scooping it out into the waiting mouth. Sheer bliss! This part is the fullness of satisfaction, the epitomy of decandence. Sensual, satisfying - making sure that all is extracted till nothing remains in the empty shell.

And finally with the tea still warm the remaining chocolate can be eaten savagly and quickly, something to really get the teeth into. A lovely twitch in the tail to complete the experience.

OOOooooh aaaahhhh. Creme Eggs!

How do you eat yours?


Böbø said...

Well personally, and I know this might present a rift in our relationship, but I don't really like Creme Eggs. The fondant you are so fond of is too sweet and rich for my savoury palette.

But, I can see you are clearly wasted as a Transactional Analyst. You clearly ought to be a Chocolate Therapist. I would adore one of my friends to have a Dip.Choc. as a qualification! I have seen your future, and it is brown and easily melting.

DJ Kirkby said...

I bite off the top and then lick out the pure sugar 'egg white and yok' before letting the rest of the choc melt in my mouth. Total sugar rush!

Anonymous said...

I'm the same as bobo, the fondant is way to sweet for me but i relate to the tea! I like the hollow eggs - any size. It's nice to teeeeethhh them at the top untill there's a small hole and nibble around trying to not break them till they're all gone.

I love easter!


Queen Vixen said...

Bobo: The liking of Creme Eggs are a justifiable reason for divorce! :o)

Dip Choc ... love it! Just think of the Case Study.

dj: Too right! Sounds like you get your tongue round it just fine.

Roses: Hello - great to see you. I often read your comments on Tony's blog. Lovely to have you visit, although I am not as 'worthy' as Tony, and will write about daft things :o)

Easter is a smorgasbord of delight! I am with you on that one.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand the 'worthy' thing. I think you have a great blog here. Don't you?

Ps, i'll try not harass you too much, ok?

A cheeky roses

Gorilla Bananas said...

Creme eggs! Hah! How do I eat my eggs? A long distance from the ostrich that laid them.

trousers said...

Bloody hell, marvellously written - chocolate eating in the style of a bodice-ripping steamy novel!

I may have to revise my opinion of cream eggs. It's not that I dislike them, I'm just quite neutral about them. Or I was: this may have changed things :)

Kahless said...

Mini eggs are my passion.
As for creme eggs, ever tried eating in one mouthful?


Pixie said...

hard core choclate porn..... so that's what you've been spending your time doing!!!

Vi said...

eeewwwww, I can't stand them! Too sickly sweet!

Hon, we've got a project going, being plugged on my blog. I would love for you to submit a witchy story!

DJ Kirkby said...

I have something over at mine for you...

Graffiti said...

Now THAT is how to eat an easter egg,
That post is literary work of art written from the soul!!


Anonymous said...

Cadbery's Creme Eggs, super yum. Unlike bobo, I have a sweet palette and love their sickly, sugar loaded succulence.

Bobo says he hates them, yet pointed them out in every store we visited. What's the unconscious process there, hmm?

I eat mine just like Roses. When I was wee, I used to put them into an egg cup and eat them with a spoon.

Queen Vixen said...

Roses: Harrass as much as you like, its great to see you over here on my blog. Thanks for the validation by the way. I am proud of my blog - its an expression and a representation of one part of me. I part I happen to enjoy. (I do occasionally get judged as being a bit flakey which is a nonsense but maybe I have been far too sensitive to that little critisism)

Gorilla: Good of you to swing by. Got a nasty kick on them, ostriches ...

Trousers: Why thank you kind sir. Hope I have been instrumental in introducing you to the sensual delight of the egg ;o)

Kahless: Ooh - all in one go. Wow! Thats something to boast about down the pub. Never tried it. Mini eggs yes - its really satisfying to chobble them preferably three at a time.

Pix: Helllooooo Good to have you pack Pix. Yes its been chocolate porn all the way for me ... as opposed to real life porn for you. Damn it!

Vi: Ok, I shall see what I can do.

dj: Bless you!!! Thank you dj - and your right, I do need it right now. Any support welcome.

Graffiti: Oh my goodness, G, thanks for the stroke. Means a lot, especially coming from you.

Hull: Well us egg lovers need to stick together. We can vanquish doubting bobo's... and I quite agree. Cant keep his eyes off them in reality lol