Root and Branch

"Twisty old devil.
Looked as if it held a grudge in every scabby branch, and if you touched it there'd be sharp, pointy bits, like thorns. And it wouldn't give you any fruit, on principle, wassail or no wassail, because, left to rot, apple trees ...
...they grows resentful."

Isn't that just great? It sums up why I like the Pagan slant on things, it gives nature 'teeth', it restores power to living things and revives the sinister - creating a healthy respect for ecosystems. Wicca embraces the Shadow, light is not light without the dark, things have to decay so that life can be reborn. The Seasonal Dance embraces death as well as life, the Crone is as important as the Maiden, the Sage is as potent as the young Hunter.

I like the beauty of the sinister, the hidden creepiness behind nursery rhymes, the dark underbelly of fairy tales. The glorious artwork of Arthur Rackham is a personal favourite and encapsulates what I am talking about, it also brings me back to trees. Rackham's trees are utterly wonderful! As I look out of my living room window at the remnant of Bagott Wood striding across the skyline - stark, brooding and infinitely beautiful, I know that a million memories are stored amongst the roots, bark and branches. Oh how I wish there were Ents in the world! I love trees - one of the reasons paganism appeals - root and branch are part of the culture.

My next post will be, 'What it means to be a Witch!' Kahless requested this some time ago, and I am busy writing notes for you all. Plus there is Bobo's tag about music, (cough cough ... much shuffling embarrassment to come with that one).

Have a lovely evening, and while you are doing so, remember to embrace the shadow, make peace with the dark side, let what you no longer need fall to the forest floor and look forward to sunlight and joy in the new year.

Full Moon Magic

Every full moon I draw my guides and symbols for the month. When the moon is full the tides of intuition and magick flow at their strongest. It is a time for searching the subconscious, bringing that which is known but unseen into conscious awareness.

Last night I stood outside in the crisp Winter air and allowed the silver light of the moon to bathe my skin. She was so bright - no other lights were needed, and living in the countryside as I do, the stars could be seen shining brightly in the dark, dark vault of heaven.

Then I slipped inside, cast a simple circle with a staff and silent salutation to the four quarters; then drew my symbols.

My Goddess for this lunar month is Nut - for those that read me regularly you will know that I see the Goddess as symbolic of the life force of the planet. The power of the atom manifest in nature. To paraphrase the wonderful Starhawk, you don't 'believe' in a rock, it just is; So it is with Goddess energy. Nut appeals to me, her energy is what I need at this present time - with dissertation looming and a full time job on the cards, as well as dealing with complex emotional issues - Nut is Goddess of Mystery.

Reach for me
touch me
I am always beyond your grasp
Don't try to figure me out
for you can't
I am the ever-present unfathomable unknown
I am the immensity of the star-filled sky
I am beyond human comprehension
In the vastness of my being
I am a mystery
even to myself

This is really relevent to me, the beauty and the power of the words have touched me; it could have been written about me - well the bits that do not tap into narcissistic goddess hood! I do feel as if I am a mystery even to myself. Maybe that is why I analyse others - it brings me closer to understanding me.

We all have mystery within us. How fabulous! The mystery of life and the beauty of the universe is what is missing in the depths of depression, and the nightmare of constant anxiety. Mystery always needs to be restored to tread the path to health and fully experience life.

I wish you all a restful and happy Christmas, a serene and successful New Year; most of all I wish you all a great big portion of magical, elusive, exciting and inspiring Mystery.

A Christmas Carol - therapy in action!

Yesterday I did my huge pile of ironing. It had been slowly brooding in the corner of the Snug and I knew that it had to be tackled. I also knew it was a good opportunity to drink Snowballs and watch something super Christmasy.

I had wrapped the last of my presents - there were lots of them, they were all shiny and elegant, beribboned and under the tree, (a glorious solstice pine festooned with baubles and pretty things). So with the last of the preparations taken care of it was time to iron. Now I dont mind ironing - the rhythmic nature of it is soothing, the folding of clothes, the warm comforting sound of the steam. Baby Vix loves it when I iron - she curls up on the sofa and we watch something together.

Yesterday, in order to be suitably festive, we chose A Christmas Carol with Patrick Stewart. It is utterly wonderful, and I highly recommend it; His one man show is even better so I have been told!

As I watched with all the usual emotion, I was aware of how this was a Script story for me. As a child I loved this tale, as an adult I am always struck by its genius and what a magnificent social commentary it was for its day. I used to read this story every Christmas as a kid - I was always going to wind up as a psychotherapist!!

What a tale of redemption, of change, of hope.

The ghost of Christmas Past deconfuses the Child, clarifies the impasse between Scrooges Be Strong parent driver behaviour and negative script messages inherited from a grief stricken father, dead mother and a host of schoolmasters, and his Child need to feel, to enjoy, to be important and to belong. The Ghost brilliantly enables Scrooge to do his Early Scene pieces.

The Ghost of Christmas Present continues the decontamination work of the Adult ego state, and enables Scrooge to receive good healthy Modelling of how to enjoy and to feel. He opens up the possibility of belonging by offering a reparitive parenting experience and a good healthy dose of reality testing.

The Ghost of Christmas Future confronts Scrooge's discounting (cathexis style for you TA people)he offers a projected outcome and the full horror that entails. He also employs a rather hypnotherapeutic style, taking Scrooge into the future, allowing him to anchor his redecision using negative reinforcement to drive home the necessity of change.

How marvelous it all is. Psycho babble (worthy therapy speak!)aside it is the most fabulous story. Every time Scrooge laughs for the first time following his salvation, the hairs stand up on my arms. I always want to dance around with joy when he embraces life, the season and himself for the first time in many years. I love it when he turns up at his nephews house, and experiences acceptance and reconciliation... and when Bob Cratchett gets his wage rise, well - I usually burst into a spontaneous round of applause.

I am a natural Saviour, not always a bad thing - has to be controlled to give space for others to make their journey in and with their own strength, but oh how I love to facilitate and witness that process, and jump for joy when the beauty of the soul emerges and decides to live!

"It was always said of him that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!"

Almost Yule

The end of the year - and the beginning of a new one always inspires me to make changes, set goals, do things differently. Its a natural process that most of us go through. Gyms and slimming clubs brace themselves for the January rush, journals get kept religiously, and all sorts of fresh starts burst out of us as we seek to change!

This next year I am going to set a few goals - just a few as opposed to the 30 I set myself last year.

I am going to write my dissertation.
I am going to get a counselling job, as opposed to self employed insecurity.
I am going to acheive an ideal weight of 10 stone 2 lbs.
I am going to become more active spiritually - observe the festivals and moons, preferably in a new group
I am going to maintain and deepen my friendships

That will do for now.

I am also going to write more on my blog - use this space as an online Book of Shadows and share my enthusiasm for wicca,female energy and divinity,celebrating the masculine too!

I have been through a difficult time. Its been a rich learning process. This year I want to sparkle!

Very quick quickie

Pixie's party was fab. I shall put up a proper post tomorrow, yule tide preparations and the growing pile of admin not withstanding.

Recently I have not had the energy or inclination to blog. Tooooo many domestic issues, and the fear that blogs allow free expression of thoughts and feelings that can change, that are a progression to an end point. Unfortunately that process can lead others to draw false conclusions, or become afraid or suspicious or just feel frightened that there is this whole world out there that seems dazzling when in fact its just people writing about the stuff going on in their lives.

So I have been withdrawn, a hermit phase which I am ready to emerge from.

Love you all - in the way that one can love the object of internal projection without external reality checking, although that does not apply to the 1,2,3,4 ... 5,6 that I do know face to face. Love you lot too :o)