Sunday, April 12, 2009

Intimacy and Blog Friends

Last night I had a wonderful time. It was the joint birthday of Fire Byrd and Trousers. We chose the Saturday which was equidistant between the two of them and celebrated accordingly.

There was no clubbing or raving or anything like that. What there was was companionship, intelligent conversation, good food and intimacy.

Intimacy is the final staging post of communication - the bit we get to after games when we no longer need to manipulate to get strokes. Intimacy is very real and feels wonderful because there is no need to pretend.

All of us, during the evening, commented on how blog friends often turn out to be people we feel most comfortable with. I believe it is because we achieve intimacy relatively quickly. Feelings are shared on the blog, opinions are aired on the blog and as there is no risk to relationship I believe there is a greater degree of honesty on the blog. Therefore intimacy is achieved.

A case in point. I am very close to Mei - again someone I met on the blog and at a blog party. Her openness and her hospitality are extraordinary. I trust her - yet in actual hours spent together I hardly know her. The blog established an intimacy that paved the way for what happened next.

Trousers went north of the Border to meet up with a blog friend he had never met. Fire Byrd travelled to a different continent to meet a blogger she had already established a strong bond with - the fact they had never met mattered not. I know a blogger in Australia that I would not hesitate to go visit.

It is an extraordinary phenomenon. It is blogging that delivers this - uniquely. It's not the domain of Face Book, for example (I would say disappearing half way round the world to meet a Face Book contact would be downright dangerous).

I think those who blog share so much of their inner world that the real person is seen, its hard to disguise malicious intent over the length of time and span of words that blogging requires - maybe I am too trusting but I for one welcome this spirit of sharing and hopefulness.

Long may it continue.


Fire Byrd said...

lovely words and I think so true.
Great night, really enjoyed myself.
I'll check the calender for the date of the next blog party!!

trousers said...

Agreed with all of that - thanks for an excellent evening spent with two good friends.


Kahless said...

I have met one blogger - a friend from aussie ; it was great.

Queen Vixen said...

Fire: Cant wait for next party. I do prefer to sleep over. I could have gone on for hours last night - but it was the drive home that was the pain.

Trousers: It was indeed an excellent evening

Kahless: Would really like to meet you. Perhaps we could arrange something with 3old men on a bench :o)

Kahless said...

That would be cool!

Queen Vixen said...

I shall have a word with him and make a plan ;o)

DJ Kirkby said...

I like the virtual friednships blogging offers but I am still distinctly uncomfortable with meeting up in RL...though, like today, I am begining to force myself to do it on occasion...can't spend all my time in my comfort zone I guess... happy birthday to FB and T

Lady in red said...

I am only sorry I wasn't there with you......I would have comleted the birthday weekend with mine sandwiched between FB and Trousers......certainly without blogging I would never have met any of the three of you. Loking forward to the next time.

Queen Vixen said...

DJ: Its well worth the effort. I consider the blog friends I have met friends for life.

Lady: It would have been good to have you there Lady - I guess considered the distance to be a problem. Its a hell of a treck for you for just an evening. Perhaps I assumed wrongly. There is another blog party planned though, so I will see you then

Lemonpillows said...

I have met friends through blogging, and I also have friends I have never met, but who know me through my blog. I always felt so much more comfortable with other bloggers because I didn't need to pretend. They knew all about how screwed up I was from my blog, yet were still interested enough to meet me. It's like normal social rules have been abandoned for a fairer, more honest idea of social interaction where appearances of beauty and 'fitting in' don't matter. I love it!

Mark said...

Thanks for that description, I have been struggling to figure out what I was trying to achieve and if I was even right to try and write at all as I do not know how or the exact path I am walking with my Blog.